(He's essentially shaming you for being the slut he'd like to be.) It might help if you got him to recognize and grieve and accept not just the reality of the situation- women with more mainstream kinks are more in demand at mixed-gender kink parties than men with niche kinks-but also the risk he's running here: His insecurities are sabotaging your relationship. But what you need (and you need to use your words to get), SISSY, is for your boyfriend to knock this petty, hypocritical slut-shaming shit off. Usually when I advise readers to 'use their words,' it's about making sexual needs clear, i.e., asking for what we want with the understanding that we may not always get what we want. But even then, your boyfriend has to accept that you'll be leveraging your desirability on both your behalves and be at peace with it. (You could and perhaps should also make it clear to anyone who approaches you at some-if-not-all kink parties that you're a package deal: You play together or you don't play at all. And if some guy approaches him at a play party only to realize he's on a leash, SISSY, isn't that guy supposed to turn his attention to the Dominant partner? If your boyfriend could resist the urge to spiral down at those moments-if he could resist the urge to make himself the center of negative attention-those men would probably turn their attention back to him at some point, SISSY, particularly if you encouraged/gave them permission to do so.
